Tiny Chick Eats 9 Pounds Of Steak In One Sitting And It Took Her Less Than 20 Minutes

AMARILLO, Texas —A Nebraska woman celebrated breaking a Texas steakhouse’s speed record for eating a 4½-pound slab of beef by polishing off another one. The Amarillo Globe-News and the Big Texan Steak Ranch’s Twitter page say that competitive eater Molly Schuyler finished her first steak in 4 minutes and 58 seconds. The previous record was 8 minutes and 52 seconds. The 5-foot-7, 125-pound mother from Bellevue, Nebraska, ate her second 4½-pound steak in 9 minutes and 59 seconds. The restaurant foots the bill for anyone who can eat one of the steaks, a baked potato, shrimp, a salad and bread roll in under an hour, so Schuyler ate those side dishes as well.

Alright so you probably don’t have time to watch that entire video.  Just know that it’s INSANE.  Maybe watch it when you get home from work.  That little lady can absolutely crush steaks.  She’s so good at it that after she smashed the record for eating one 72 ounce steak by almost 4 minutes she decided to eat another one.  Ya know, just because.  It makes zero sense somebody so small can put down that much meat in that amount of time.  Even Joey Chestnut watches that and thinks she’s eating too much too fast.  And it wasn’t just the steaks, it was all of the side dishes too.  There’s only one explanation for this type of eating ability: A giant 5 foot long tape worm is living inside this mother of four and Molly will be dead within 6 months.  Sorry to say but that has to be what’s going on here.  I won’t accept any other explanations.

PS- Am I the only one who was slightly turned on by watching her shove pounds of meat into here face?  Yes?  Alright never mind then. Let’s move along.